The Luck o' the Irish
by Calendulam
Summary: In the midst of the St. Patrick’s Day chaos in Chicago, Bella literally runs into Emmett and winds up with more than just the hangover she was expecting. AH. Canon pairings.
1. Emmett

A/N: **Happy St. Patrick's Day!** *throws shamrock shaped glitter* I wanted to have at least all of the chapters that take place during the parade posted today, but I didn't get them finished. I suck. But here's the first one at least! :D

Many thanks to Katrin for the beta!

Disclaimer: Do not own.

**Emmett**

_When Irish hearts are happy, _

_All the world seems bright and gay. _

_And when Irish eyes are smiling, _

_Sure, they steal your heart away._

I took in the sights, sounds and smells of the happy-go-lucky crowd surrounding me, tapping my foot to the music. I was so glad we'd convinced Edward to come to Chicago for St. Patrick's Day – it was always the best damn party of the year.

I took a swig of my cleverly concealed beer – Alice had poured it into a coke can – and looked around again. Everywhere it was green and sparkling and smelled of beer -- my kind of smell.

Directly across from me a drunken guy with a shamrock painted in the middle of his forehead was dancing crazily after a green balloon, which was blowing out of his girlfriend's reach. She laughed at his antics, then turned and grinned at me watching her. She lifted up her glittery, emerald green top and flashed her perky boobs at me.

_Damn._ I love St. Paddy's Day. And I was sure glad Rosie hadn't been around to see that. The Luck of the Irish, indeed, I grinned to myself.

I put my beer filled coke can to my lips and tipped it up to take another pull, when someone slammed into my elbow.

"Shit!" I'd spilled it all over my 'Kiss Me I'm Irish' shirt. Good thing it was unseasonably warm today, cause that shit was cold.

"Ah – Fuck! I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" a cute brunette wearing her own 'Kiss Me I'm Irish' shirt slurred in my direction – no wait, her shirt read 'Kiss me, I'm Magically Delicious'. That shit made me laugh.

"No worries, hon," I told her. She was adorable, after all, and obviously plastered.

"At least it wasn't green, cause that would stain," she said with a grimace. She stood pondering for a moment before continuing. "Although, in my opinion, it's a little blasphemous, drinking regular beer today."

"What do you mean, beer? It was only coke," I grinned at her.

She snorted. "Sure it was. Here, have some of my green _coffee_." She pushed a thermos into my hands.

I took it from her and had a long pull. Damn, it was better than the swill Rose and Alice had bought.

"Thanks –" I let it hang out there, waiting for her to fill in her name.

"Bella," she smiled. Pretty. Not hot like my Rosie, but cute in a girl-next-door sort of way.

"I'm Emmett." I held out my hand to her. "Emmett McCarty."

Her mouth hung open for a second. "McCarty? Are you shitting me?" She grabbed my hand and shook it vigorously. Firm handshake for such a tiny little thing – she was almost as small as Alice.

"My mother's mother was a McCarty. Where are your people from?"

"No way! Tennessee -- mountain country." I stood tall and flexed my shoulders a bit.

"My Grandma was from Tennessee, too! You're probably my cousin or something! Holy shit!" She grinned. "Have another drink, cos!"

She pressed the bottom of the thermos, signalling me to have another drink of her delicious beer.

"Dammit, Bella! There you are! I told you to stop wandering off. You scared the shit out of us!"

Two guys and a girl approached us, looking relieved. The guy who had spoken -- slight with spiky, blond hair -- put one hand on Bella's arm proprietarily and gave me a look that clearly said 'hands off'.

Bella shook his hand off her arm and turned towards her friends. "This is my long-lost cousin, Dimples McCarty!" she announced.

Jasper, Alice and Edward appeared then, holding coke cans of their own. Alice giggled at Bella's statement.

"Hey, Bella -- this is Alice and Jasper. And this is Edward," I introduced them to my new buddy. "Guys -- these are Bella and her friends…"

"I'm Mike," said the blond guy. "And this is Angela and Ben." He didn't add the conventional 'it's nice to meet you' to his statement. I could tell he wouldn't have meant it anyway.

Bella, however, paid no attention to these introductions. She was staring at Edward unblinkingly, with a small, dazed smile on her face.

I was used to seeing girls look at Edward that way – he was supposedly a good-looking guy (I had no idea if this assumption was true, being a guy myself, no matter what Alice said about still being able to tell). The thing that I was unused to was Edward looking back at a girl in the same dazed way; but right at that moment he was looking at little, drunken Bella like she was a goddess -- a goddess who had no right to be standing on a Chicago street during a parade with mere mortals.

"Hi," she finally managed to say, in a quiet, shy voice unlike the one she'd used with me moments earlier.

"Hi," Edward answered. The returned shyness in his voice was even stranger than the look on his face.

She blinked a couple times, as if to clear her eyes. I chuckled. "You're pretty," she said. "Come dance with me." And she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards a group of revellers dancing a jig down the street.

The blond guy -- Mike or Mark or whatever his name was -- glared after them. "God, I hate it when Bella drinks," he complained. "She always wanders off and talks to strangers."

"Huh, the people she's with must bore her," I said, to be a dick.

Mark glowered at me and the girl hid a smile behind her hand.

"Does she often ask strange men to dance during parades?" I asked, mostly just to piss him off some more.

He looked like he wanted to punch me, but I knew he'd never dare – I outweighed him but at least 70 pounds. Scrawny little jerk.

"No, she's never done that before," answered the girl, Angela, with a sweet smile in Edward and Bella's direction. "And I've known her for years."

Two more girls sidled up beside Bella's friends. A short, curly haired one put her hand on Mark's arm and looked up at him with longing. Oh, honey, give it up; he's lusting after pretty Bella.

"Did you guys find Bella?" Curly asked.

Mark scowled. "Yeah, she's dancing with that red-headed pretty boy over there."

I laughed loudly. What a jealous dick.

"Hey!" Alice said, indignant. "That's my brother you're talking about!"

Bella's friends ignored her outburst.

"Figures," said a blond, the other newcomer. "I'd say we leave her to her fate. I'm sick of chasing her stupid, drunk ass around."

What a bitch. Her and Mark needed to get together. I felt the need to stick up for little Bella, she was just enjoying herself and I liked the kid. She was sort of family after all. Plus, Edward seemed to like her, and my boy needed some welcomed female attention. He practically lived like a monk.

"We'll keep an eye on her," I volunteered, speaking only to Angela. "Give me your cell number and I'll find you later on.'

Angela smiled and pulled her phone from her bag so we could exchange information. Mark did not like that one bit.

"We're going to just trust this guy?"

I rolled my eyes. "Look, Mark –"

"It's MIKE."

"Mike, whatever. Bella's my long-lost cousin or something; I won't let anything happen to her."

He continued to glower at me as his friends all spoke amongst themselves.

"Well, see you later, then!" Angela said, and Bella's friends all started off. Curly was pulling Mike along after them, whining "Come on, Mike, we have dinner reservations."

Rosie came up behind me as I watched them walk away, wrapping her arms around my waist. I turned around and gave her a quick kiss.

"I brought you another beer," she said, handing me a Sprite can this time – much more festive.

"Thanks. A drunken little pixie spilled mine all over me."

"Who, Alice?"

"I am not drunk!"

Rose grinned at her. "Where's Edward?"

"Dancing with the clumsy, drunken pixie," Jasper answered, motioning towards them.

Bella was dancing quite well to the fast-paced jig, holding both of Edward's hands in hers. He was smiling down at her and trying to keep up with her quick and sometimes erratic movements. He looked up and met my gaze. He grinned widely and shrugged his shoulders, then kept on dancing.

It was almost cute, watching them. But I'd never, ever say that out loud, cause, well, I'm not a chick.

**Will trade green beverages and tacky, themed t-shirts for reviews. ;) **

**Oh, and Edward is next. **


	2. Edward

**A/N: This is a long one - Edward is terribly long-winded. Hopefully that makes up for the fact that I didn't get it posted on St. Paddy's Day. **

**I own nothing, as usual. **

**Edward**

God, this girl was adorable. And drunk. Very, very drunk. I'd had a few myself, but I could feel them beginning to wear off already. This beautiful, fun, bouncing girl had obviously consumed mass quantities.

She liked me now, but how would she feel once she was sober? I would probably bore the crap out of her. I was tempted to take her back over to her friends and part company to save myself the eventual heartache, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to know her, not just dance with her in the middle of a crowded street with strangers breathing alcohol stink all over us.

She smiled up at me again and tightened her grip on my hands. I couldn't help smiling in return; she was irresistible.

She stretched up and brought her mouth close to my ear. "So, what's your last name, pretty Edward?" she asked. "I hope I'm not related to _you_."

I leaned down to her. "It's Cullen," I answered. "And I certainly hope you aren't related, otherwise the thoughts I've been having are sick and wrong."

She threw back her head and let out a clear, musical laugh. "That makes two of us," she said loudly.

She released one of my hands and lifted the other into the air, twirling around beneath it. "And no," she continued once we were facing each other again, "I have no family by that name. But Cullen, that is a good Irish name. You need a change of wardrobe, I think." She turned suddenly and pulled me after her.

Bella stopped short in front of a vendor selling tacky trinkets and noisemakers. She turned and grinned at me, eyeing me up and down before pointing to something and saying, "one of those in medium please."

Before I could protest she'd handed the man a bill and pulled me away from the crowd.

"Take off your shirt," she ordered.

I hesitated for a moment, and she began to laugh.

"Take off your shirt, _please_," she amended.

How could I argue with that? I pulled off my jacket and began to undo the buttons of my blue button-down. She made a tsking sort of noise, and I heard her mutter something that sounded like "not even green" under her breath.

When I'd finished with the final button, she grabbed my shirtsleeve and tugged my shirt off, tying it around her waist. I was feeling cold and exposed by this point, standing on the street in nothing but my jeans, when she pulled a 3/4 sleeved baseball-type t-shirt on over my head. The sleeves were a garish shade of green and the body was white with a design of shamrocks around the words 'Kiss Me I'm Irish'. Emmett was never going to let me live this one down; I'd made fun of his matching t-shirt and belt buckle that very morning. But how could I say no to Bella? She'd bought it for me after all.

"There, much better," she grinned.

"Now that I'm dressed properly by your St. Patrick's Day standards, aren't you going to obey the shirt?" I asked, only half joking. Her lips were full and exquisite, and I wanted nothing more than to taste them.

She giggled and put those beautiful lips to my ear again. "I would love to obey the shirt, Edward, but there is another rule that must be followed."

_Rule, what rule?_ I couldn't even begin to formulate a response with her so close, her warm breath on my neck.

"Save the best for last," she breathed out, rubbing her nose against the shell of my ear. God, this woman -- her touch made my bones turn to jelly, and she was only touching my ear!

Her warmth was gone far too soon, and she was once again pulling me after her. Not that I minded; we may have only just met, but I already knew that I would willingly follow her anywhere.

She didn't stop tugging me until we were in front of my friends. She reached a hand out to Emmett, saying, "my coffee, if you would, dear cousin."

A guilty look crossed Emmett's round face. "Er – I kinda finished it, cos. But only because you have obviously had enough -- I don't want you getting sick or passing out on us or anything…"

I stifled a laugh.

Bella's expression was an odd mix of anger and sadness. "You finished my Guinness? My green Guinness?"

"That was Guinness? Damn, you have good taste in beer, Bella. You're definitely a McCarty!"

She grinned at this, all anger forgotten. "Now I need something new to drink." She glanced around.

"Here, you can have mine," Alice said, offering her 'coke' to Bella. Bella sniffed its contents without taking it from Alice's outstretched hand, her nose crinkling slightly at the smell.

"That smells like crappy domestic," she guessed correctly. "Is it even green?"

"Um… no. Should it be?" Alice asked, glancing at the can in confusion.

Bella scoffed at her. "Of course it should be," she said, waving her hands at the scene around us. "I can't drink anything not-green today. Blasphemy!"

Emmett let loose a booming laugh, garnering the attention of the crowd around us. "I love this girl," he announced, clapping Bella on the back.

She stumbled slightly forward, so I reached out a hand to steady her, giving Emmett a dirty look. His damn hand was nearly the size of her head! What the hell did he think he was doing hitting her that hard? Idiot.

He grinned at me, cocking his head to the side. I knew that look; he was analyzing me. People always underestimated Emmett because of his happy-go-lucky nature, but the man was shrewd. He could certainly read me like a book; after all, we'd been friends for most of my life.

He nodded his head, having come to some sort of conclusion. "Nice shirt," he said with a knowing grin.

"Isn't it great," Bella agreed. I hadn't realised she'd been paying attention to the weird pseudo-conversation Emmett and I had been engaged in. She ran her warm little hands up my arms and over the shirt's decal. I nearly groaned aloud at the sensation of her hands all over my chest. She sighed happily and rested her head where her hands had been, over my heart.

Emmett was eyeing me intently, wearing a smug expression. "You are so getting some tonight, brother," he mouthed at me, then waggled his eyebrows.

I narrowed my eyes. "She's drunk!" I mouthed back.

He shrugged his shoulders and rolled his eyes theatrically. "Then you'd better get drinking too, ya pansy," he said aloud.

Bella pulled away from me and turned to Emmett. I cringed internally – had she figured out the point of our discussion from Emmett's uncouth proclamation?

"Drink. Yes. We need something to drink," she agreed brightly. "Something good, something green," she added with a look towards my scowling sister.

Bella glanced around at the crowd. "Ha!" she nearly shouted, then ran towards some guy who was stumbling slightly and holding on to a leggy blond. "We have matching shirts!" she told him, before planting a kiss on his lips.

I flinched. Why did watching her kiss that guy make me feel like I'd been punched in the gut?

'You too!" she said to the blond, and stretched up to place her lips on hers as well.

The guy bugged out his eyes at the image of Bella kissing the blond girl. I growled under my breath. "Cheers!" he exclaimed, holding out a bottle with green liquid sloshing around inside it.

"No way!" the blond scolded him. She grabbed the bottle from his slack grip. "You've had enough. I'm nearly carrying you already!"

"What's that?" Bella inquired, pointing at the bottle. "I'll buy it off you."

'Sure, gladly," said the girl. "We were supposed to go out, but now I have to take his stupid ass home and make sure he doesn't die. If he drinks any more I'll kill him myself."

Bella laughed and reached a hand under her shirt, pulling out a bill with flourish. The drunken guy's hand shot out and took it before his girlfriend had the chance, and he rested it against his cheek. "Still warm," he mumbled. I held in another growl.

The girl rolled her eyes and passed the bottle to Bella. "Enjoy," she muttered, before pulling the drunken ass away down the street.

"Er – why do you have money in your shirt?" Jasper asked, voicing what I'm sure we were all thinking.

Bella snorted a laugh. "My mom is kind of a nut – she always told me to put cab fare in my bra whenever I go out, just in case. I guess I'm crazy enough to listen to her."

"And now you've spent your emergency cab fare on an enormous bottle of putrid green swamp water," Alice informed her.

"Yeah, well," Bella shrugged, examining the bottle. "Neither Mommy or Angela are here to scold me, are they?" She screwed the cap off the bottle and took a swig. "Mmmm… tastes like watermelon bubblegum, but with a liberal sprinkling of BLAH." She stuck out her tongue and shuddered slightly.

Emmett's booming laugh carried through the crowd, punctuated by Rosalie's throaty chuckle and Alice's bell-like giggles.

Bella snuggled up against my chest again. Her warmth was lovely next to the chill in the air.

"Besides," she said quietly, only to me. "I won't need my cab fare, will I Edward?"

Her chocolate brown eyes held my gaze; her long lashes fluttering flirtatiously. I stared back at her mutely, my eyes wide. I shook my head from side to side.

_She wants to come home with me. _

She smiled widely at my accession, and held the bottle of liqueur out for me to take.

"No, that's all right," I told her. She pressed it towards me more forcefully. "I think I should probably try to remain relatively sober."

"Relatively? Pssh," she scoffed. "Relative to what?" She pushed the bottle into my hand and wrapped my fingers around it.

_To you_, I thought, but I gripped the offered bottle anyway, ignoring the knowing wink that Emmett threw my way.

The sickeningly sweet alcohol nauseated me immediately. I grimaced as I pulled the bottle away from my lips. "Ugh. That's hideous," I complained. It tasted like cough syrup.

"Yeah," Bella nodded in agreement. "I think it's meant to be mixed with something." She pressed the rim of the bottle to her lips again anyway, and took a long drink.

I grimaced again just watching her. Surely we could find her something better to drink if she was bound and determined.

"Okay," Bella said, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "Introduce me to everyone." She looked at Emmett expectantly.

"We kind of already covered that part. I think you missed it when you went into your Edward-induced trance there, Drunky."

I felt blood pool in my cheeks; Emmett could be such an insensitive jerk sometimes.

But Bella didn't react like I expected her to; she didn't seem to care in the slightest. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. But can you really blame me?" She looked at me and winked.

"Right then," Emmett chuckled. "Let's try this again. Keep your hands and eyes away from Edward so you can concentrate this time."

She giggled. "I'll try my very best."

Emmett wrapped one of his bulging arms around Rosalie's narrow waist and pulled her forward. "This right here is Rosalie Hale, my wife," he said proudly.

"You're lovely," Bella said to Rose, and leaned in to kiss her daintily on the cheek. Her apparent sweetness was ruined, however, when she turned around and stage-whispered "HOT" to Emmett and gave him two thumbs up.

Emmett nodded at her with a lewd expression on his face, and then stage-whispered back "I love you, my cousin."

I shook my head; I was beginning to think the two of them actually were related. Rosalie was laughing at their antics; she must have been thinking along the same vein, otherwise Emmett's comment would have likely pissed her off. She was notoriously jealous and vindictive when it came to Emmett and female attention from anyone but her.

Emmett continued with the introductions. "And this distinguished gentleman over here is Mr Jasper Whitlock."

"Pleasure to meet you," Jasper said to Bella.

"Texas?" she asked with a grin. What was it with girls and accents?

Jasper returned her grin. "Yes, ma'am," he drawled. He was purposely exaggerating it now. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Cute!" Bella gushed, clapping her hands and jumping in place.

She turned towards my sister. "And you? You are the most adorable person I have ever seen."

Alice giggled. "I'm Alice. Tex there is my fiancé," she motioned to Jasper with her head. "I'm Edward's sister."

"Cullen!" Bella yelled, and grabbed the startled Alice by her shoulders. She pulled their faces together and kissed my sister very thoroughly on the mouth.

It was so beyond the realm of unfair and wrong that I could do nothing but stand there, aghast. I had never been so jealous of my sister, not even on her 18th birthday when Carlisle had bought her a Porsche while I was still driving his old Volvo.

After an eternally long moment, they finally pulled apart, and Alice had Bella's saliva glistening on her lips. I pouted internally. It was so unfair.

Jasper and Emmett looked way too pleased with the situation, so I petulantly pulled Bella away from Alice and glared at them. Perverts.

"Damn, Bella," Alice said in an astonished tone. "You're a great kisser."

Bella giggled. "You taste like cherries," she replied.

"Yeah, Jasper loves this lip gloss," Alice said, pulling said lip gloss from her purse and spreading more of it on her lips.

Alice was looking at me smugly. I glared back at her. "I hate you so much," I mouthed from behind Bella's back.

Alice grinned evilly in return. "Come on, Bella," she said, still staring into my eyes. "Let's walk down to the river. You'll like it, it's green." She grabbed Bella by the hand and turned away from me.

We all wandered down to the river and stared into its unnaturally green depths until Emmett suggested that we head to a nearby pub. The sun was beginning to go down and the unseasonable warmth we had been enjoying all day was coming to an abrupt end in its absence.

After several hours of live music, dancing and more drinking, I was more than ready to go back to my house, but not ready to be parted from Bella. Even through the drunken party-haze of our surroundings, I was finding myself becoming attached to her, and I dreaded being separated when I returned to Seattle and my life in two days time.

She sidled up behind me and wound her arms around my waist, putting an abrupt end to my musing.

"Edward," she breathed into my ear. "Are you ready to leave?"

_The bar? Yes. Chicago and you? Never._

"Yeah," I answered simply. "I'll let everyone know and call us a cab."

She smiled at me and nodded. "I'll meet you right back here," she said, then wandered towards the ladies' room with Alice and Rose.

I walked back over to our table where Em and Jasper were seated, engaged in a beer chugging contest. I shook my head at them.

"Bella and I are leaving you kids to your fun," I informed them.

Emmett grinned hugely at me. "`Bout time," he slurred. "Do me a favour and tap that tonight, would you?"

I glowered at him, knowing it was a waste of energy. Sober Emmett wouldn't have understood, so I shouldn't expect anything of Drunk Emmett. "Haven't you been going on all night that she's your cousin? God you're a pig."

He just grinned all the wider. "She's plastered, Em. I'm not going to take advantage of that fact."

Emmett scoffed. "Ed, my brother, I sincerely think that you…. are an enormous pussy." He broke up laughing at his own stupidity and high-fived Jasper.

'"Call it what you want, but I can't do it."

"I hardly think you'll have a choice. That girl is feisty, and she's been jonesing for your ass all night. Just do it, man, get your rocks off. You'll never see her again anyway." He shrugged his shoulders and refilled his glass from the pitcher on the table.

_You'll never see her again anyway._ The thought was so abhorrent that I felt physically ill.

The three girls returned to the table, Bella laying her head against my shoulder and looking at me with her big doe eyes. She was so beautiful.

"Ready to go, Romeo?" she asked. I heard Emmett snort but purposely ignored him, pulling Bella away without so much as a look in his direction.

"Night all," Bella said sweetly.

Emmett's answering voice was rife with implication. "Have fun," he said.

There were no cabs parked near the pub, or anywhere within sight. I pulled out my cell and dialled information for the number of a cab company. When I'd finally gotten someone on the line, I was told it would be a bit of a wait, as the city was overrun with drunks in need of a ride home. I snapped my phone shut and scowled at it. We could walk back to my house faster than the amount of time the dispatcher had said it would take a car to arrive.

I sighed and turned to Bella. "We may as well walk. Cabs are all backed up."

She shrugged. "Bound to happen, I suppose. But luckily it's a beautiful night, and I'm in good company." She smiled at me and took my hand in hers. "Which way?"

I pointed down the street and we strolled along. It was a lovely, clear night, though the air had become bitingly cold.

When we passed under a streetlight, I noticed the state of Bella's lips – they were parched and cracked. She was dehydrated. I'd been unbelievably neglectful; I was the only relatively sober one and I hadn't been making her drink water. I hadn't made any of them drink water, though she was the only one I cared about at the moment.

"Bella, we should stop somewhere and get you some water. You're dehydrated."

"Not unless it's from the river."

I curled my lip in disgust. The river? It was polluted -- god only knew what was in it. Oh, it was green. I sighed. "It's just water, Bella. You have to drink some. The amount of alcohol you've consumed today, it's a miracle that you're still upright. You're going to be sick tomorrow if you don't get some water into you."

"Well, I guess I'll have to stay upright for…" she studied her watch under another streetlight. " Another hour at least." She grinned up at me. Stubborn girl.

There was a convenience store still open on the next block, and I pulled her inside.

"I'm not drinking your water, Edward," she warned with a smile. She stood near the door with her arms folded over her chest. Stubborn, yes, I'd certainly been right on that account.

I furrowed my brow and grabbed a large bottle of water from the cooler, then searched the dusty shelves. And there it was – food colouring. There was one battered box stuffed between a bag of crackers and can of something that vaguely resembled pasta.

I took the water and dye up to the cash and paid the bored guy his $13. Who pays $11 for a box of food colouring? I was clearly insane. I opened the water and unscrewed the cap off the small, green bottle of colouring. I added several drops to the water bottle, put the lid back on and shook it around. Ta-da! Green water.

I pocketed the green dye, and the blue and yellow in case I ran out, then passed the rest back to the cashier to throw away. He took them in the same bored manner as he did everything else, and turned back to the magazine he'd been reading. Obviously some idiot buying $11 food colouring wasn't strange in his line of work – especially not on St. Patrick's Day.

I met Bella by the door and handed her the green water. She appeared confused. "Food colouring," I explained. "Drink it, you're going to feel wretched if you don't."

She examined the murky water for a moment before turning her large eyes on me once again.

"You dyed water for me." She looked touched, her eyes were glassy with what appeared to be unshed tears. "Thanks," she sniffed, and went up on her tiptoes to kiss me gently on the cheek.

I held open the door for her, still a bit dazed from her innocent kiss, and she exited onto the sidewalk, chugging the water all the way.

She pulled the bottle away from her red lips and shrugged her shoulders. "Huh," she said, "guess I was thirsty."

She grinned up at me and I shook my head, laughing.

"Silly Bella."

"Want some?" She held the water bottle out toward me. It didn't look appealing in the slightest.

I grimaced.

"Edward," she said in a teacher sort of voice. "You'll be dehydrated if you don't get some water into you."

I threw her a mock glare and took the bottle from her hands and drank from it. It tasted strange. "Grape?"

"Lip gloss," Bella said. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small tube. "Your sister gave it to me."

I passed the water back and told her she should really finish it. She needed it far worse than I did.

When the water was gone, she reapplied her grape lip gloss and stuffed it back into her pocket, then held out a hand and wiggled her fingers at me. I took it with pleasure.

We'd been walking in comfortable silence for a few moments when she stopped suddenly. "Edward?" she said shyly.

I raised my eyebrows questioningly in response.

"I'm done," she said in a quiet voice. "You're the last."

_What?_ I looked at her stupidly.

She raised one eyebrow and placed her hands on my shoulders, backing me towards the wall of a nearby brick building.

_There is another rule that must be followed_.

Ah, she was finally going to kiss me.

It had been torture watching her kiss numerous rowdy, drunken buffoons all night, no matter how chaste those kisses had been.

_Save the best for last_.

It was finally my turn. And judging from her current demeanour, I had a feeling _my_ kiss was going to be anything but chaste.

Using my shoulders and the wall as leverage, she pushed her way up my body, wrapping her legs around my waist. She licked her lips once, twice, then slowly leaned forward. I felt like I was trapped in a slow motion scene in a movie, staring at her luscious mouth moving closer and closer to my own, her little tongue, stained with green, darting out to moisten her lips for the third time in what I was sure was only a second or two at most, though it felt like an eternity.

_Patience, Edward_, I told myself. I wanted to close the distance myself and roughly claim her lips. They were _mine_, my inner caveman growled, and she had been sharing them with anyone whose name began with Mc or Mac or O' all day long.

Her lips finally met mine, softly at first, tentatively. Her hands moved from my shoulders, sliding slowly up my neck, until she brought them to rest on my face. She tilted my head slightly to one side, moving hers in the opposite direction. I felt her tongue lightly caress my bottom lip, so I opened my mouth at her silent request. A low, embarrassing moan escaped me as she slipped her tongue between my lips. The sound seemed to egg her on; she gripped my face more forcefully and pulled herself upright, her legs tightening around my waist.

Our tongues tangled together in my mouth and she moaned loudly. I slid my hands up her back and threaded my fingers into her hair, pulling her even closer. She sucked my bottom lip into her mouth, biting down, then licking away the sting. She pulled back slightly, then pressed our mouths together again in a chaste kiss. She repeated this gesture a few times, before pulling her face back and staring into my eyes.

"We'd better stop," her voice was husky. "Or I'm going to have to have you right here. My dad's a cop, he won't take it well if I'm arrested for public indecency." She grinned at me, before leaning in to kiss my lips softly once more. She brushed her nose back and forth over my jaw up to my ear, where she sighed. The pleasant warmth of her breath made me shiver.

"Best," she whispered in my ear. "Best ever."

"Me, too," I copied her quiet tone. _Understatement of all time_, I added mentally. I couldn't bring myself to say anything further, or to even move, though the sharp bricks were freezing cold and sticking uncomfortably into my back and ass.

She threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly before sliding down my body and back on her own two feet. I very nearly whimpered at the loss.

I stood there, still resting against the wall, deaf, dumb and blind, absently licking my lips. I could certainly still feel and taste. _Grape_. That damned lip gloss tasted a hell of a lot better on Bella's lips than it had on the water bottle.

She grabbed me by the hand and tugged my arm, pulling us in the direction of my house. And somehow, without my brain's involvement, my legs began to move in response.

We reached my house 15 minutes later.

I showed Bella around a bit before going into the kitchen and mixing up another batch of green water for her. She smiled at me as she took it from my grasp, chugged it quickly and placed the glass in the sink with a grin.

"More?" I asked.

She shook her head, squirming strangely with an odd grimace on her face. I began to wonder if she was going to be sick. "Edward, do you have a shirt I could borrow?" she asked instead. She had spilled beer all over hers at the pub, and it was still looked damp and sticky.

I nodded, hoping the gesture didn't come across as eager as I felt. Could anything be better than Bella in my clothes? _Bella_ out _of your clothes_, the dirty part of my mind whispered. I growled at it and told it to shut the fuck up. The last thing I needed was more encouragement at this point.

I led the way up the stairs to my bedroom, if I could reahly call it that – I only slept there a couple of times a year. I watched Bella closely as she took in the décor; I hadn't bothered to redecorate in all the years I'd owned the house. Esme had wanted to, but it just felt weird to change anything.

I whipped a shirt quickly out of the top drawer, not even bothering to look at it before handing it to her. She turned her back on me, pulling her smelly shirt over her head without so much as a pause in our conversation. My eyes bulged slightly in shock before I had the decency to look away. My legs were embarrassingly shaky, so I seated myself on the edge of the bed.

"Edward?" she sounded confused; she must have asked me a question. I snapped my eyes back in her direction without thinking, just as she unhooked her bra and started sliding it down her slender arms. _Oh my God_. I cleared my throat.

"Look, Bella, I'm trying very hard to be a gentleman and not peek at you right now, but you're making that very difficult with all your chatter."

She snorted. "You can peek if you want. All you're gonna see is my back, which is not very exciting."

_That's what you think_. I examined the smooth, pale expanse of skin, and the way her shoulder blades dipped as she removed her bra.

"Or," she continued, "maybe, if you're lucky, you'll catch a little bit of side boob."

I chuckled, broken out of my poetic contemplation of her back. "Side boob?"

"Yeah, like this." She turned slightly to the side, and I caught the briefest flash of the rounded swell of her left breast. I stifled an embarrassing groan, hoping that she hadn't heard.

"Well, yes, that is side boob, I suppose," I stuttered out. "Very beautiful side boob."

She giggled, before pulling my t-shirt out from where she had it clasped between her knees, and tugging it on over her head. She turned to face me, pulling her hair out of the shirt's neck and rearranging it over her shoulders. "Why thank you. I hope you think just as highly of my front boob."

I stared into her wide, brown eyes and shook my head slightly. "There is no doubt in my mind," I said in a quiet voice.

She unhooked her jeans and slid them down her legs. Kicking them off her feet along with her socks, she turned and grinned again, then launched herself at me, knocking me backwards onto the mattress.

She giggled, running her hands up and down my bare forearms. "Must. Obey. Shirt," she breathed, leaning closer to my mouth, pressing her soft, full breasts into my chest.

She needed to stop or I was going to be a horrible cad and take advantage of a drunk girl.

"It's after midnight," I whispered. "You don't have to listen to the shirt anymore."

She pulled back at once and I nearly groaned in frustration.

_I_ am _a cad_.

"Stickler for the rules, are you?"

I shrugged.

"Neither am I." She waggled her eyebrows at me and slid her small hands over my 'Kiss Me I'm Irish' shirt. When she reached my waist, she continued under the fabric, running her nails lightly over the bare skin of my stomach.

"You feel nice," she mumbled. Her hands ventured farther up my torso, pulling the shirt up as they went. "It's no longer St. Paddy's Day. We can get rid of this." She tugged the shirt and, without thinking about what I was doing, I put my arms up and allowed her to pull it over my head. She flung it across the room and pressed her hot, grape-flavoured mouth to my chest in a wet kiss.

This was already going too far. I couldn't allow it to happen; I'd never forgive myself, and worse, Bella would never forgive me for taking advantage of her.

"Bella –"

"Edward," she said mockingly and giggled. I felt her tongue jut out and begin trailing up my neck. I leaned my head back instinctively. I groaned aloud as she traced my Adam's apple with her tongue, then placed her lips over it and sucked, her tongue flicking rhythmically over the skin all the while.

She moved her hands down my chest until they came in contact with the button on my jeans, which she slipped deftly through the buttonhole. I reached out a hand to stop hers as she clutched the zipper.

"You can't sleep in jeans, Edward." She smirked at me.

She was right, of course. Her logic made perfect sense. Perfectly perfect sense.

_Cad. Cad. Cad. _

God, I was.

I slid the zipper down, slipped my jeans over my hips and kicked them to the floor. Bella was staring down with an enormous smile on her face. I felt heat flood mine. The hard bulge in my boxers would be impossible not to notice.

"They're green," she giggled, pointing at my underwear. "You're a proud Irishman after all."

I laughed a tad manically in relief. "Just don't tell Emmett."

"Deal," she agreed, and kissed me sweetly on the lips.

I responded in kind, and our kisses quickly became more urgent. Before I knew what I was doing, I'd flipped Bella over onto her back and I was hovering above her, devouring her mouth. My hands had begun to roam over her delicate curves without my permission. My t-shirt that she was wearing had hiked up, revealing a sliver of her flat stomach and a pair of lacy green boyshorts.

I groaned, and she took it as encouragement, hooking a leg around my waist and pulling me flush against her body.

I moaned loudly this time; I could feel her wetness through the fabric of my boxers. Her little hands scrabbled all over my back, trying to press me closer still.

"God, want you," she gasped. "Want you to fuck me, Edward."

Fuck, how I wanted to. More than I'd wanted anything ever in my life. I lunged for her mouth again. But this time I tasted more than grape lip gloss there. I tasted beer, and melon liqueur, and a multitude of other drinks.

_She's drunk. She'd drunk. She's drunk. _

'"Bella –" I all but moaned, laying my head on her chest and weaving my fingers into her thick, silky hair. I couldn't do it, and I almost wanted to kick myself as I continued.

"Oh Bella, you're so… god. I just can't take the chance that you'll hate me for this in the morning." I lifted my head up to look her in the eye, to make sure she knew I was being completely truthful. "I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I promise you that I'll –"

"Fuck me?" She grinned devilishly.

I closed my eyes and bit back a whimper. "Yes. If you still want me to when we're both sober." God, she'd better still want to. There had better be such a thing as karma, because I wanted to cash that shit in.

"Are you sure? I can promise you that I won't regret it."

My inner pervert perked up. "You won't? How can you know?"

She smiled at me. "When a man puts food colouring in water to keep you from getting a hangover because you're being ridiculous, he's a keeper. That's basically, like, true love. Doubly so if it's on your first date – for lack of a better word – and he hardly knows you." She smiled sweetly again and ran her fingers through my hair.

_Well, if she won't regret it…_

_No, I'm doing the right thing._

_What, going to sleep with a raging erection and probably jizzing on yourself in your sleep like a 13 year-old boy?_

_Shut the fuck up, brain! _

I sighed deeply. "I really think we'd better wait, Bella."

_Do you see this, Karma?_

"Go to sleep now," I added forlornly.

"Okay Edward," her hand paused mid-hairstroke as she hesitated. "But only if you promise to hold on to me."

I smiled to myself. If she knew how desperately I wanted to hold on to her, she'd likely run away screaming. "There is absolutely no chance of me breaking that promise, believe me."

"Good," she said with a yawn. "Because the bed is kind of spinning."

She had the spins? I had definitely made the right choice. I climbed off her and pulled her against me.

"Poor baby," I chuckled, holding her close to try and stop the spinning. Her breathing steadied and in no time she was fast asleep in my arms.

I lay with her warm body moulded to my side, listening to her breathing for what seemed like hours. Not in the way that I wanted it to end, but exactly the opposite. For once time was slowing down for the good things, instead of speeding up. In my mind I ran through every word she'd uttered over the course of the night, every laugh, every smile, every touch.

_That's true love_, she'd said.

_True love_.

Once upon a time, I would have found the concept truly laughable. But now? Now I wasn't so sure.

~*~

**Thoughts? Suggestions? **


	3. Bella

**A/N: Thanks again to Katrin for the beta!**

**Bella**

I was awoken by evil sunlight streaming through a window.

I threw an arm over my eyes, trying to block its passage to my tortured retinas. They were stinging, nearly as dry as my foul cottonmouth. My head pounded a steady rhythm, keeping time with my heart. I let out a tortured moan and swallowed, trying to coat my parched throat with saliva. God, I needed water.

"Ugh, my mouth tastes like something died," I croaked.

My comment was punctuated by a low, musical chuckle. I pried my eyes open – though it pained me to do so – and turned my pounding head in the laugh's direction. A beautiful, auburn-haired man was lying beside me, peering up at me with clear, green eyes.

I shut my eyes again and sighed. "Ah, still dreaming," I mumbled. "You're too pretty to be real."

He laughed again.

"But if this _were_ a dream my mouth wouldn't taste like dirty socks."

"I thought you said your mouth tasted like something died," said his low, melodic voice.

"Something that died of suffocation in a dirty sock," I clarified.

"Ah," he said, and chuckled again. "Not a very pleasant way to go."

"So…" I started, feeling as if I was talking with the imaginary friend I used to have when I was four. "Where is the setting of this realistic yet slightly sadistic dream of mine, Mr. Pretty, Auburn-Tressed Fantasy Boy?"

He laughed even harder at that. Luckily it was such a beautiful, smooth sound that it didn't hurt my pounding head.

"Um… Chicago. My room…. my house."

"Chicago?" I asked, confused. "That's a strange place for a morning-after-drunken-sex dream."

_Chicago. _

I sat bolt upright and grabbed my head as a searing pain shot through it.

"Ugh," I moaned. "Shit."

I forced my eyes open. They didn't want to cooperate; my brain was fighting against the pain. I stuck my tongue out as far as it would go, trying in vain to see it.

I looked towards the vision on the bed beside me – he was now sitting up as well. His lovely face was marred by a look of intense worry.

"Ith it gween?" I asked, holding my tongue between the thumb and forefinger of one hand while pointing at it with the other.

He furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Gween? Ith it?" I tried again.

He looked as though he'd had a light bulb moment; his eyes flashed in recognition. "Green?"

I nodded.

"Yes, it's green. Yesterday was St. Patrick's Day. Do you remember?" The look of extreme worry was back.

I released my dyed tongue and threw myself back onto the pillows of Edward's bed in relief.

_Edward_. His name was Edward.

"Thank God," I groaned, covering my face with my hands to resume the sun-blockage.

He was real. I remembered him. I liked him. I'd talked and drank with his friends. I'd kissed his sister. We'd danced in the street and I'd bought him that horrid shirt. And I was pretty sure I was now wearing his clothes.

"I thought I'd lost it there for a moment." I peeked through my fingers at him; he still looked ill at ease. He probably thought I'd lost it as well. "Sorry for freaking you out, Edward."

He sighed deeply, the set of his shoulders relaxing. "I was more worried that I was freaking _you_ out," he admitted, rubbing a hand through his gorgeous head of sex-hair. Had I done that? It was probably the best night of my life and I'd blacked out. How typically Bella.

"Nah," it was the best I could do at reassuring him in my current state. "I think maybe St. Patrick hates me," I sighed. Even that small gesture killed my throat.

Edward chuckled. "Maybe try drinking a little less next year. A few beer as opposed to a few cases?" he shrugged his shoulders, a smile in his eyes.

"I'll keep that in mind." I clapped a hand over my mouth and felt my eyes widen. He was close enough that my putrid death breath was wafting over his face. It was a wonder that he was still conscious. "Er… you wouldn't happen to have a spare toothbrush around here, would you?" I asked between clenched teeth and from behind my hand.

He smirked at me, clearly amused by my horror. "Um…. probably around here somewhere," he mumbled, crawling out of the bed and padding towards a small door on the far wall.

My eyes widened further when I took in his state of, well, undress. All he was wearing were a pair of forest green boxer shorts. My heart began to pound frantically as I studied his wide shoulders, slim waist and long, muscular legs. I couldn't believe I'd slept with this perfect specimen of manhood, and it was pissing me off that I couldn't remember any details. I almost wished he was still naked, but I wasn't sure I wouldn't have died from embarrassment, so it was probably better that he was at least partially dressed.

I could hear him still mumbling from the small room he'd entered. I furtively checked myself under the blankets to be sure _I_ wasn't naked. Reassured, I crawled, somewhat painfully, out of the big bed and stumbled towards him.

"There has to be one around here somewhere," he was saying. "My sister always over-packs and we usually have extra supplies lying around."

Huh? I leaned against the doorjamb of the small bathroom to steady myself. "Packs? Don't you live here? You said this was your house."

He finished ripping apart the medicine cabinet over the sink, then turned to face me. "It is my house, but I don't live in it." He turned away again and began rooting through a drawer. "It was my parents' house. They died when I was young and I inherited it. I only come here a couple of times a year, but I can't bring myself to sell it."

_Way to open a wound, idiot_. "Oh God, I'm so sorry," I stuttered.

He shook his head and smiled before slamming the drawer shut and diving under the sink to continue his search. "Don't be. I was very young, as I said, and Carlisle and Esme adopted me right away."

He leaned farther under the sink and I had to crouch down slightly to make out his muffled words.

"They were close friends of my parents and couldn't have children of their own. They adopted Alice too; we're actually the same age."

He shuffled around for another moment before a triumphant "Aha!" came from his prone form. He pulled himself upright and waved a brand new Oral B toothbrush. He looked so adorable with his crooked grin and a big dust bunny in his hair that I started to giggle like a fool.

"What?" he said and looked at the toothbrush in confusion.

"No, not that," I giggled again. "You've got a dust bunny… just here."

I reached up and brushed it away, my hand lingering in his silky locks. His green eyes locked with mine and I stared back, feeling my face flood with warmth. I jerked my hand away, along with my eyes. If I didn't know better I would have almost called his gaze _lusty_. I began to feel uncomfortable about the night before.

"Um… Edward. About last night…" I met his eyes and saw him gulp noticeably. He looked worried again.

I continued on with all the bravery I could conjure. It was apparently not enough for me to keep eye contact; I took a deep breath as I studied my bare feet.

"It's just… well, I'm not usually like that. I don't – I've never –" I sighed. _Very coherent, Bella_. "I'm not usually so… _aggressive_. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I don't want you to think that I'm a –"

"No –" he said loudly, cutting me off. I glanced up to see him shaking his head and moving his hands about in a gesture of refusal. "Of course I don't think you're… I mean… I'm not like that either." He bugged his eyes out to accentuate the point. "I would normally never bring someone home like that. I just… you're just… I really, really like you." He cringed at his admittance. It was adorable.

I smiled, feeling immediately more at ease. "I really like you, too. I don't know what it is, but I feel comfortable with you. There's this feeling of…" I searched for the right word to express myself.

"Kinship," he finished for me.

"Yeah, that," I grinned up at him. "Only, you know, not the family-like sort."

"Um, no," he agreed with a laugh. "Not that sort at all."

An embarrassingly loud rumble originating in the vicinity of my tortured stomach interrupted Edward's laughter. It was my turn to cringe.

"Ew… my stomach is angry with me," I mumbled, red-faced. "I'd better get something to eat."

"Don't worry – Emmett is cooking up a storm right now, I can smell it. He always makes a feast after a good night of beer drinking."

"Er – he's here?" God, I was going to have to do the walk of shame after all; and here I thought I'd gotten off scot-free.

"Yeah, they all are. He always tries to convince me to come stay here for St. Paddy's Day, and this year I finally gave in." He rolled his eyes, but I could tell he didn't really mind. "He gets excited about the stupidest things, but what can I say? He's my best friend." He shrugged his shoulders and handed me the toothbrush.

I tore open the packaging with a smile. "He seemed like a good guy."

"Yeah, he is," Edward smiled back. He reached for his own toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste. "We've been friends since my very first day of school. He helped me carry Alice to the nurse when she fell down and twisted her ankle." He flashed his crooked grin my way again, then leaned forward to squeeze toothpaste onto both of our brushes.

I pictured the two of them as children, carrying tiny Alice together. I simply couldn't imagine her any smaller than she already was, however. "That's adorable," I smiled, before plopping the toothbrush into my mouth and waging war on my nasty case of halitosis.

"Well, don't tell Emmett that," Edward said. "I doubt he'd appreciate the sentiment."

Over the next several moments, there were no other sounds in the room besides the scritching of toothbrushes. It was strange, never before in my life had I brushed my teeth with a man like this. It was sort of nice. Comfortable.

I spit in the sink and ran my brush under the tap. I voiced my thoughts aloud without thinking. "Edward, this is really nice."

He pulled the toothbrush out of his mouth. "The toothpaste?" he asked in confusion.

I laughed lightly and shook my head.

"Oh… this," he said shyly, his cheeks pinkening slightly. "Yeah, it is."

He rinsed his brush and placed it into the holder by the sink. I was staring down at my borrowed brush, unsure as to what to do with it. He took it softly from my hand and placed it beside his in the toothbrush holder. He smiled at it for a moment before turning to face me.

It did fit there very well – if only I could stay with it. I frowned slightly. Only I would meet such a wonderful guy on the other side of the country while away for a drunken weekend.

I followed Edward back into the bedroom and searched the floor for my jeans. Our clothes were scattered all over the place; his shirt was even hanging over a lamp. "This room is really lovely," I said, more to make small talk to hide my embarrassment than anything else.

"It was my parents' room; I've never changed anything about it. A bit out of date, really." He was pulling a pair of jeans out of a nearby dresser, his back to me. "Esme, my mother, always wants to redecorate this house, but I'd rather leave it the way it is," he shrugged his shoulders and leaned over to pull on his clean jeans.

Gah, I couldn't stop reminding him of his dead parents! I searched for a change of subject. Alice. "So, your sister… was she adopted before or after you?"

Aha! I'd found my jeans tangled in a blanket on the floor.

"Before. We grew up playing together. I used to wish that she were my sister. Afterwards -- after I went to live with Carlisle and Esme -- I thought it was my fault my parents died because I wished for Alice to be my sister. Children's minds work in such odd ways…" he was smiling fondly into space.

It was sweet and sad at the same time. He looked over at me as I was buttoning my jeans, his cheeks colouring slightly again.

"Sorry, I'm telling you my entire life story. I tend to babble when I'm nervous."

"You're nervous? Huh, you hide it well," I told him honestly. He'd seemed worried and perhaps a little embarrassed, but not nervous.

He chuckled. "Acting is a necessary skill in my line of work."

My stomach rumbled again, even louder this time. I flinched.

"Come on," Edward said with a smile, and led me out of the room and down the stairs.

I smelled the kitchen before I saw it; my stomach turned violently. When Edward had said that Emmett was cooking a feast, he hadn't been exaggerating.

All six and a half feet of him was standing over the stove, a spatula in each hand. He was flipping pancakes on one side, bacon, eggs and sausages on the other.

The Texan – _Jasper?_ – was seated on a stool beside the counter, buttering a stack of toast. He waved at us with his butter knife as we entered the room.

Emmett, noticing Jasper's motion, turned quickly and grinned, eyes zeroing in on me. "HAHA!!!" he bellowed. "I told you she was here! Jasper, you owe me fifty bucks!"

I felt my body flush with heat and stared down at my hands, which I hadn't realised I was twisting around nervously in front of me. "Um… good morning," I said quietly.

"You know what they say – a good morning can only follow a good night," Emmett winked.

Somehow, impossibly, I got warmer.

Edward sighed and walked over to Emmett. He took a spatula out of his hand, flipping the burning pancakes.

"Em," I heard him whisper. "Leave her alone, all right? She's kind of shy."

"Whatever you say, my brother," Emmett replied at a normal level, clapping Edward on the back with his newly free hand.

"So, Bella," he turned back to me and I cringed internally. "What would you like to eat? Grease is the perfect cure for what I'm sure is ailing you. You were pretty plastered yesterday."

I couldn't argue with that, though the thought of eating anything greasy made me want to gag. I grinned at him quickly before going back to studying my hands. "Yeah, I suppose I was."

I wished I hadn't been, then maybe I would remember my night with Edward. I sighed, watching my fingers twist back and forth together. I had green dye under my right thumbnail. That was weird… _green dye_.

Edward! The water! He'd put food colouring in water so I would drink it! We had walked back here from a bar or something…. And I'd attacked him on the street! I gasped and lay my head in my hands.

_What happened next? _In the house… more green water… to the bedroom. God, I think I'd flashed him or something. We'd fooled around; I was glad to have that happy memory back – sweet lord, his mouth… Clothes came off, mostly my doing, and we'd kissed some more. And then…

I scrunched my eyes up in concentration. _Think, Bella. Think._ _Remember the best bits. _

But there were no other bits. Neither his bits nor my bits. He'd said we should stop, wait until we were both sober, sweetly including himself in the "not sober enough to make rational decisions" club.

_I don't want this to be a one-time thing_, he'd said.

"Bella, is something wrong?" Edward's worried voice asked.

I pulled my head out of my hands and walked swiftly towards him, grabbing his wrist and dragging him into another room.

When were we far enough away from the others I dropped his arm and turned to face him.

"I'm glad to know you still do that when you're sober," he joked, but his smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

I stared at his face for half a second, before launching myself at him and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck.

"Thank-you, Edward, thank-you for being a gentleman last night. I've thought all morning that we…well… last night – I wasn't upset, just disappointed that I couldn't remember. But now I've just remembered, and we didn't, and you were so sweet. Thank-you." I ended my incoherent ramble, and pulled back slightly to look into his face.

"Of course, I wouldn't… I mean… I couldn't take advantage of you like that. Not that I didn't want to –" he stopped, mortified with his slip, his face reddening.

I grinned at his blushing face and leaned in, planting a kiss square on his lips.

"Oh!" I heard a chirpy little voice exclaim. "Oh God, so sorry. We didn't mean to interrupt. Er… carry on."

I glanced up to see Edward's tiny sister, Alice and Emmett's tall, blond wife walking swiftly from the room.

I disengaged myself from Edward and bit my lip in embarrassment. He shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. "Difficult to have any privacy in such a full house."

I smiled at him and was about to respond when Emmett's voice boomed through the house. "Edward! Get your ass back in here! You ran off with my spatula!"

Edward and I looked down at the spatula still clutched in his right hand. "Oops," he muttered, and we both laughed.

Breakfast was fairly quiet and uneventful. Though Emmett tried to force-feed me all varieties off greasy breakfast cuisine, I turned him down in favour of Jasper's towering stack of toast.

I did, however, accept Emmett's offering of Advil, which he handed me with a grin and a glass of orange juice.

"You should really be taking those with water," Edward told me, as I was about to gulp down the pills with OJ.

"Maximum absorption… blah, blah, blah… You're supposed to be on vacation, Doctor," Alice scolded.

"Yeah, let the poor girl drink her juice, Edward," Emmett said. "Unless you'd rather a beer, Bella. Hair of the dog that bit you?"

He laughed loudly at my violent shudder -- the very thought of beer made me nearly gag on the pills that were still resting on my tongue. They had been there so long that the coating was beginning to disintegrate; I could taste the vile, bitter flavour of the drug.

I threw Edward an apologetic look and downed the pills with a gulp of juice. The acid burned when it hit my stomach. I swallowed a mouthful of air and sat very still for a moment.

"You're a doctor?" I asked Edward quietly, after the churning of my stomach had calmed down to a mere sloshing and I was fairly certain it wasn't about the reject the juice.

"He didn't brag about that last night?" Jasper laughed. "Edward, Edward, Edward. If I was a doctor, I'd be telling all the ladies."

Alice smacked him playfully and he feigned a sore arm.

"You really didn't do much talking last night, did you?" Emmett chortled.

I felt my face turn scarlet, and glancing furtively at Edward, I could see that we matched.

"He's a baby doctor," Rosalie cooed.

"Rose, I'm a paediatrician, my patients aren't _all_ babies," he corrected her sharply.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to help you out, moron. Girls dig guys who care about babies and animals. It makes you seem all caring and compassionate. Go with it."

"I really don't think he needs any help in that area," I muttered, then quickly bit my lip, trying to grab the words from the air and force them back into my mouth.

Edward regarded her smugly. She tried to look angry, but she was smiling.

Emmett was grinning at the both of us, rubbing his hands together like an evil overlord concocting a diabolical plan. I didn't really know Emmett, but I was pretty sure that was a bad thing.

Apparently, Edward agreed. "Er… Bella? Are you finished with your breakfast?" he asked, eyeing Emmett warily.

"Yep!" I jumped up quickly, instantly regretting my hasty leap out of my chair. I stumbled slightly, woozy, and whacked my knee into its high, wooden back.

Edward caught me easily.

"Are you all right?" he asked.

I nodded, embarrassed.

"Bella, we're having spa night tonight, so you have to stay, okay," Alice said. It didn't sound like a question.

I smiled vaguely and allowed Edward to rescue me, leading the way up the stairs.

"Would you like to take a shower?" Edward asked once we were in the safety of his room.

He immediately reddened. "I didn't mean… Not as in…" He motioned between the two of us and ran a hand through his hair. His little nervous expressions and compulsions were so adorable.

"I'll just get you a towel." He practically sprinted from the room and I stifled a laugh.

When he came back in clutching a big, fluffy towel, I was tempted to tease him and ask him to join me, but seeing the uncomfortable expression on his face stopped me short. That and the fact that I wouldn't have been teasing, not completely, if I was being 100% honest with myself, and I was terrified that he would reject me.

I plucked my St. Patrick's Day shirt from the floor and grimaced at the smell. "But what am I going to put on once I'm clean, that is the question," I thought aloud.

"I'm sure Alice has something that would fit you. Or I could take you home if you'd rather," Edward said somewhat dejectedly.

I liked that he sounded that way. -- far too much.

"Home… well, that would be an awfully long drive," I laughed. "I'll borrow something from Alice for now, if that's okay with her. My clothes from yesterday are pretty nasty."

I held out my shirt as evidence and Edward pulled a face.

"But if I'm staying over for 'spa night' I'd probably better go over to my hotel and get some supplies."

"Hotel? You don't live here in Chicago?" He looked confused and maybe… hopeful?

"No, I came with friends for the party."

_Shit, Angela!_

"Speaking of which, I should probably call them. They likely think I'm lying in a gutter somewhere." My eyes searched the room, looking for any trace of my phone.

"Where do you live then?"

"Um…in Seattle. You?" _Damnit, where is my phone? Don't tell me I'd gone and lost it! _

I looked up at Edward, hoping _he_ knew where it was. His eyes were slightly glazed and a wide grin was spreading across his face. The next second, I was in his arms and he was spinning me around.

"Woah, hangover here," I gasped half-heartedly.

He placed me back on the floor with a laugh. "Seattle? You live in Seattle?"

I nodded my head, confused by his sudden exhilaration.

"I also live in Seattle," he said matter-of-factly. He placed his hands on either side of my face and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs.

I felt my eyes grow wide. "Seriously?"

He nodded, still wearing the same silly grin.

I smiled dopily back, then grabbed his face and planted the biggest, loudest, sloppiest kiss ever on his beautiful mouth.

He threw his arms around my neck and pulled me to him, squeezing me gently. I was sure I heard him whisper, "thank-you, karma", but when I pulled back and asked him what he said, he only smiled and shook his head.

_On second thought…_

"So, will you be joining me in that nice, hot, refreshing shower, Baby Doctor?"

He looked shocked for a second, but grinned and arched his brow when he saw that I was serious.

He slammed the door with one push of his palm, and then deftly flipped the lock.

He grasped me by the elbow and all but dragged me to the bathroom.

~*~

**I know, you want to kill me for leaving off there. Next chapter, promise! You can send me hate mail if you want, or just review. ;) **


	4. Edward Revisted

**A/N: I'm actually updating? What the hell, right? Sorry for the long delay, RL has been kicking my ass, and I did write an entire chaptered fic during that time as well - I'll start posting it soon. Anyway - on with the shower sex. Bella and Edward must be about ready to burst after all this time. :P**

**Many thanks to my good friend Citikitti for the beta. You are an extremely patient woman (LOL, JK). I own nothing, as usual. **

Edward Revisited

I had pulled Bella into the bathroom with no conscious thought as to what I was going to do next. Had she been joking? If she had, what must she be thinking of me? I released her arm and laid the towel on the countertop, not meeting her eyes. I felt her hands caressing my back and lifted my head up, ours eyes finally meeting in the mirror; hers were heavy-lidded, almost predatory. My cock twitched and she grinned once, before grabbing me around the waist and pushing me in the direction of the closed door. I complied with her request, knowing she wouldn't be able to move me of her own accord.

I expected Bella to break out her patented against-the-wall kissing moves, but instead she tugged my shirt over my head and began working on my fly. "The plan _was_ to shower, wasn't it?" Bella asked with a mischievous smile as she picked up on my shock.

I didn't bother to answer, instead pulling her t-shirt up over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra. I paused in my de-clothing of her, staring at her chest like a teenaged virgin who had never before seen a pair of breasts. She was turning me into a bumbling idiot.

Bella pretended not to notice my slack-jawed lunacy, kissing my throat as she tugged my jeans and boxers down over my ass. I cursed aloud as she grabbed me forcefully by the dick. _Whoa,_ s_low down there._ But she wasn't slowing down. She brought her foot up and began using her heel to push my jeans and underwear the rest of the way to the floor, then hitched her leg up around my bare hip. I'd only gotten as far as unhooking the button on _her_ jeans.

We kissed for awhile, but Bella seemed to be growing impatient. She was making little grumbling noises under her breath and pressing her hips against me as tightly as she could manage. Our heights were not working in her favour. I pulled my mouth away and pushed her leg from my hip. She began to make a noise of complaint, but stopped abruptly when I slid my fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled both them and her jeans down in one fell swoop. I wound my arm around her waist and walked us in the direction of the shower.

"Showering _was_ the plan, right?" I teased her. Keeping my left arm securely around her, I turned the water on with my right hand and adjusted the temperature. We stumbled into the shower stall under the stream of water; it was a little too hot, but I couldn't give a fuck under the current circumstances. I wasn't about to say, "Bella, hang on a sec while I turn on more cold..." To hell with that. Not when she was sucking on my chin and grinding herself against me, clutching at my ass with one hand and my cock with the other.

She made that frustrated grumbling sound again; either I was too tall, or she was too short. It simply would not work. I lifted my head and glanced around. There was a wide shelf covered in bottles of shampoo and soaps and God only knew what else my sister had dragged in here. It would work; I would hold Bella's weight, but rest her against it. It would work.

The bottles banged and thudded against the tiles as I swept them off to make room for Bella. She captured my mouth with hers, sliding her tongue between my lips with a moan. I felt her slick legs wrap around my hips, and the smooth heels of her feet pushing into my ass cheeks, urging me closer. But before I would give into this unspoken request, I let my hand drift down her belly and between her legs. I could feel the heat emanating from her; it was driving me fucking wild. I slid my finger down the slick folds and she pressed forward into my hand. "Edward," she gasped. "You don't need to. I just want you. Am _so_ ready."

I slipped a finger in anyway, once, twice; the warm, wet, velvety skin making my knees weak. "You feel so good," I whispered against her neck, sucking on the skin there. She bucked into my hand again, a low whining "please" escaping her lips.

I couldn't refuse her now; there was no longer any reason to. I moved my hand to her hip, then slid it under her ass, holding her up and tipping her back slightly. I positioned myself between her knees as she widened her legs for me, wrapping them around my waist after I'd pushed inside of her body. We moaned in unison, the sounds echoing off the tiles around us.

"_Fuck. Edward!_ _Harder_!" Bella yelled, her fingernails digging into the flesh of my shoulders. I lifted her higher with my right hand, trying to use my left to brace myself against the wall. I was beginning to lose my footing; the floor of the shower was becoming more and more slippery.

I thrust into her as hard as I could, my feet sliding around a little with the movement. "Floor's fucking slippery," I gasped.

She peered over my shoulder, down at the floor. "Oops," she began to giggle, but it turned into a loud, throaty moan when I slammed into her again. "One of the bottles... _Ahhh! Fuck! Yes!_... Is... _fuck_... broke... _en.. ohhh_..."

Well that certainly explained it. I cursed under my breath. There was no way I was going to be able to keep this up with soap trickling steadily under my feet. Bella seemed to realise this too, pulling herself into my arms and gasping, "Sit down."

I did as I was told, seating us directly in the hot stream of water, as far away from the spilled shampoo as I could get. My ass slid a little on the slick tile and I laughed. Bella shut me up quickly when she lowered herself onto me with no warning. I cursed loudly and thrust upwards. She gripped me by the shoulders, her long, sopping hair hanging in her face. I reached up a hand to push it back; I wanted to see her eyes. She continued to pump up and down, her perfectly round breasts directly in my face. I took one of her pert nipples into my mouth and she began to ride me faster, screaming out an unintelligible mixture of swear words. I rolled her nipple between my lips and she let out one long, drawn-out "_Fuuuuuuuck_", then began whimpering and digging her nails into my back.

"Fuck, Edward, _so gooood_," she moaned, picking up her pace again. I thrust up to match her movements, the water pooling between our bodies making slapping noises. "Ye-_es_." Bella sounded like she was fucking _crying_. Oh shit. "Oh, _God_!"

"Bella?"

"So good. Don't stop. Don't fucking _stop_." I removed a hand from her hip to wipe the water out of my eyes so I could get a good look at her. _Her_ eyes were scrunched up in concentration, bottom lip gripped painfully between her teeth. She didn't _look_ okay. She let out another broken moan and whispered more obscenities under her breath.

Her round, dark eyes popped open and her mouth formed a perfect 'o'. "Edward," she gasped, then brought her head down to rest in the crook of my neck, her motions reaching a fever pitch. She let loose another unintelligible wail and I felt her shudder, her body clenching around me. And she _was_ crying; she was sobbing right in my ear. I placed my hands gently on either side of her face and pulled her head up. "Fuck," she gasped, shaking her head. "Too fucking _good_. _Don't. Stop_." Bella shuddered again, moaning, her head lolling against me. "Fu –_uck_," she whimpered. "Still don't."

She was losing momentum, seeming to lose her strength after climaxing. Her eyes were pleading with me, telling me to keep going. I lifted her slightly and shifted, pulling my legs up under me so that I was sitting on my haunches and could thrust more easily. I slammed upwards, Bella's body meeting mine halfway. She was right – it _was_ too good. I felt a rush of heat and a tingling in my abdomen; I wasn't going to last much longer.

I only lasted as long as it took for Bella to scream my name once more, stretching it out amongst her sobs. We fell against each other on the slippery shower floor, panting for breath and wiping the water out of our eyes. It was beginning to turn cold.

"You okay?" I gasped at Bella. "You didn't sound okay."

"Fuck yes," she reassured. "That was... _fuck_! That was the _best,_ the _weirdest_ orgasm... orgasm_s_... _Jesus_..." She shivered.

"I was worried there for a minute... You're cold; we should get out."

Bella nodded and sat upright, reaching behind her to turn off the water. We climbed out of the shower and I wrapped her in a warm, fluffy towel before grabbing one for myself.

When we walked back into my room, I realised I had forgotten to get Bella some of Alice's clothes to wear. I gave her a robe to put on while I was dressing, then snuck across the hall to my sister's room to rifle through her wardrobe. I grabbed a nondescript blue shirt and a black skirt – Alice's pants would all be too short. I even found some new underwear in a pile on top of the dresser with the tags still on them, so I grabbed Bella a pair of those as well, silently telling Alice I would buy her some more. I knew she wouldn't care; she probably wouldn't even notice they were missing.

Bella was snuggled under my covers when I returned to the bedroom. She gave me a sheepish grin and patted the bed next to her. I dropped Alice's clothes on a nearby chair and climbed in with Bella.

We spent the next couple of hours discussing everything from our jobs, to our families, to our favourite pizza toppings. I discovered that Bella also worked with children just as I did – she was an elementary school teacher, and the school where she taught was directly across from my offices.

"You've got to be kidding me! How long have you been teaching there?"

"Going on three years."

"What? How is it we've never met? Hell, some of your students are probably patients of mine."

"Actually, one of my students was rushed over to your building before. She has really bad allergies to, well, everything, and she had a reaction. I couldn't accompany her, though, I was... umm..." She trailed off, her beautiful face flushed with embarrassment. Could it be?

"You aren't Miss Swan, by any chance?" I couldn't believe I still didn't even know her last name.

"Yeah. That's me."

I laughed. "Was it Maggie? Maggie Todd? She told me you gave her the needle, then fell on the floor really hard. She was terribly worried."

"Oh, God." Bella dropped her face into her hands. "The nurse was on break, and _I_ had to do it. I'm fucking _terrified_ of needles." She slapped me on the shoulder when I continued to laugh. "I injected her then immediately did a face-plant. I could feel myself getting woozy, but I made damn sure that needle was out of her before I passed out."

"You were wonderful, Miss Swan. I'm only teasing. You saved that girl, to be sure."

"I suppose." She studied the duvet, embarrassed.

"Swan..." I mused aloud. "You know, in one of the towns where I lived as a kid, the chief of police was a Swan. Do you have any relatives in Forks?"

Bella's eyes were wide as she stared at me incredulously. "Yeah, Charlie Swan is my dad. I didn't grow up with him, though. I only saw him a couple of weeks each summer, but, yeah."

_What?_ That was too damn strange. I could do nothing but shake my head. How had we not met before this? It seemed so unfair.

Bella sat up suddenly and clapped her hands together. "Dr. Carlisle Cullen is your dad?"

"Yeah," I answered, confused.

Her face reddened again and she chewed on her bottom lip for a moment before laughing. "I... uh... He stitched me up a few times when Charlie thought it was a good idea to take me fishing with him. Hooks and I were about as good of friends as needles and I are... I have to admit, I always had a little crush on him, your dad." She blushed deeply again.

I rolled my eyes. I'd heard that enough times in my life to be getting on with, thank you very much. "Doesn't everyone?" It came out sounding much more bitterly than I had intended and Bella snickered at me.

When talk turned to where we had gone to college -- we were surprised to find we hadn't gone to the same one, the rate we were going – Bella remembered that she needed to call her friends. Our activities had struck the thought thoroughly from her mind. We couldn't find her cell, so I offered her the land line, passing her the old rotary phone that had been in the room since the late 70s.

"Edward," she laughed, giving the receiver a funny look. "Even if you won't allow your mom to redecorate the house, at least let her get you a new phone."

I poked my tongue out at her and she giggled some more, exaggeratingly dialling the phone and pretending to injure her fingers.

I heard a female voice answer on the other end, then Bella jumped in with her apologies. "God, Ang, I'm _so_ sorry. I lost my phone, but I'm completely fine! Oh, _you've_ got my phone. You've already spoken with _Emmett_? How.... Oh. Sorry for getting so wasted, I..."

I tuned the rest of their conversation out and closed my eyes, resting my head on Bella's stomach. She reached down and began stroking my hair; it felt amazing. Bella hung up a moment later with a sigh. "I guess I worried for nothing. Emmett and Angela exchanged numbers last night, and he promised to keep an eye on me for her. God, I must have been an absolute mess for Emmett to make promises like that."

I chuckled. "Emmett really likes you. He seems to think the two of you are actually related."

"Huh. Guess we'll have to check into it someday." Bella yawned hugely. "Wanna take a nap?"

I nodded my head and we settled in together. Bella was out in a matter of minutes, but I couldn't get to sleep. I decided to fix her a surprise lunch, so I slid very slowly out of the bed and crept from the room.

Emmett was in the kitchen when I got downstairs, stuffing himself with sandwiches and potato chips. "Well, hello!" he greeted me boisterously. "Didn't _we_ make up for lost time this morning, Cullen."

Oh fuck. We had been loud. I had completely forgotten that there were other people in the house. Hell, I had forgotten that there were other people in the _world_.

I decided that ignoring his remark would be the safest course of action. "Where is everyone else?" I asked as I stole one of Emmett's chips.

"Alice dragged them all out shopping. Said she couldn't stand hearing her wittle brother make sexin' noises anymore; she felt like she was gonna puke. Said it was worse than that time she heard Esme and Carlisle going at it."

I made a face and returned the chip I had just stolen to Emmett's plate. "Don't speak of such things."

Emmett snorted. "Come on, man, who _hasn't_ heard your folks getting it on? Carlisle knows how to please a lady." He nodded knowingly; I threw up in my mouth a little.

"I haven't! And God, I don't even want to think about it. Change the subject; that's just wrong."

"Why? Apparently you're a chip off the old block. Who'd have thought that you'd have moves, man? Edward has moves! I'm so proud" He wiped away a fake tear. "Seriously, though, you've got to teach me whatever you did to make her have that weird crying orgasm -- I was a little worried at first, but Rose says that crying during orgasm means you rule. Apparently crying even trumps drooling. _Huh_." Em pondered that for a moment, licking salt off his fingers.

Jesus, they'd been listening in and discussing us? I needed new friends who were far less strange and who understood the meaning of the word "personal". I _was_ relieved, however; I'd been worried I'd hurt her myself. Not that I was going to let Emmett get so much as a whiff of that information."We're _not_ having this conversation. We're not having anything in the realm of this conversation."

"Aww, come on, bro. Don't hold out on me! Rose looked at me all '_you_ can't make _me_ do that', and now I feel like I gotta prove myself and shit. Help a guy out."

"No."

"Fine, then you leave me no choice. I'll just have to ask Bella."

I glared at him, my eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't _dare_."

"Pssh, this is me we're talking about. You think I give a fuck? She'll tell me, too; that girl is awe-some."

_Shit._ He _would_ ask her. I needed to stall for time so I could think up something to tell him. I had no clue what I'd done differently; I hadn't gotten that response from a woman before. "Fine, I'll tell you, but you have to promise me you'll make yourself scarce for the rest of the day."

"Deal. Now out with it."

_Er…_ "I'm not telling you _now_. You have to get out of here first. I'll tell you later."

"Why are you so quick to get rid of Ole Emmett, huh? Got something planned? Gonna make Bella cry some more?" He winked lewdly.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to make her something to eat. Really, I just want to spend some time with her without the constant worry that you've got your ear pressed to a glass against my bedroom door. We're celebrating -- I just found out that Bella lives in Seattle." I couldn't stop the huge, ridiculous grin from spreading across my face.

"Fuck me! Seriously? That's great, man!"

"Yeah, and even weirder than that, she was born in Forks. She's Charlie Swan's daughter."

"She's Baby Chief Swan? Holy shit!"

"I know! Do you know how many times we could have met, but didn't? She even teaches at the school across the street from my office. How weird is that? And we had to come all the way to Chicago to run into one another."

"That's fucked up."

"It's fate, is what it is."

Emmett scoffed. "You don't believe in shit like that, science nerd."

"Well I certainly didn't, but now I'm convinced. Just don't tell Alice; I hate it when she says 'I told you so'."

"Are you gonna go all new age on us now? Start healing with crystals and all that positive energy bullshit?"

"I shall plan my entire life around the movement of the planets," I deadpanned.

"Geesh, give a girl a crying orgasm and suddenly you think you're a comedian."

"Three."

"Huh?"

"Three crying orgasms. In a row."

"How the fuck..." His mouth hung open and his brow was furrowed in confusion.

"I've studied anatomy."

"It'd almost be worth the cutting up dead bodies and shit for that. _Almost._ Sorry Rosie," Emmett cackled. "All right, man, I'll leave you to your food preparational wooing." He stood from his stool and clapped me on the shoulder. "Huh, Baby Chief Swan… Who'd have thought she'd be such a hellion. You know, if you put a moustache on her, I bet I could see the resemblance." He nodded to himself and wandered out of the room.

What the hell was he talking about? I shook my head and turned towards the refrigerator. We hadn't bought a whole lot of groceries; I just hoped there was something edible besides breakfast foods.

I threw together some sandwiches and a quick salad, grabbed a couple bottles of water and placed it all on a tray to carry upstairs to Bella. It certainly didn't show off my culinary skills, but I didn't have much to work with, so it would have to do. Once we were back in Seattle I would be able to really cook for Bella. Thinking of both Bella and Seattle in the same sentence made me grin like a buffoon.

~*~

**I'll try not to take so long with the next chapter. Feedback would be lovely. **


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